


Before The Handover

by Zab43



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Childcare, Gen, Not a Dark and Stormy Night, lurking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:21:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26042611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zab43/pseuds/Zab43
Summary: Dark forces were abroad.......one of them said: ‘Bugger this for a lark. He should of been here hours ago.’What happened while Hastur and Ligur lurked for hours waiting for Crowley to turn up.
Relationships: Hastur & Ligur (Good Omens), Hastur/Ligur (Good Omens)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	Before The Handover

**Author's Note:**

> ....couldn't see these two being particularly good with kids...
> 
> Inspired by Crowley's conversation with Sister Loquacious.

It wasn't a dark and stormy night.

Of the two shadowy figures lurking in the ruined graveyard it was the short dark one who was most annoyed at the inconsiderate weather.

"Bloody fog! Not even freezing fog neither, an' who puts a lamppost right next to a graveyard? Not like the corpses need to see what they're doin' is it?"

His tall, menacing companion just grunted. The squat figure continued his complaints "I mean, who ever heard of dark forces lurking menacingly on a mild, slightly foggy night, under a bloody lamppost?"

"For Satan's sake Ligur, will you be quiet, you'll wake him up" hissed the other.

"What? Not 'im. Born in Hell, surrounded by screaming souls in torment an' all them cheerin' demons? A bitta talkin' ain't gonna wake 'im up".

Right on cue a wailing started up from inside a wicker basket on the ground by their feet.

"Told you. I blessed well said dint I? Oh no, talkin' won't wake him up" said the other, shaking his head in despair.

"Yeah, yeah, reckon the little bastard done it deliberately though Hastur. He knows what he's doin', just ignore 'im".

Hastur looked shocked. "Poor little mite, listen to 'im, proper howlin' isn't he? Can't just ignore 'im". He picked up the basket and started gently rocking it from side to side. The wails went up a pitch.

His companion laughed. "Told ya. He's doin' it deliberate like". Hastur glared at him, continuing to rock and jiggle the basket to no effect.

"What we gonna do? Poor thing. Can't have him screaming like this when Crowley arrives. What if he tells Beelzebub? They'll think we was hurtin' him". The tall demon was starting to panic.

Ligur considered. "Must be hungry. We bin stood here for ages, reckon he needs feeding".

"What do they eat?" Hastur asked curiously.

"Dunno, I could find sommat to kill, see if he likes it". The dark demon looked around the graveyard for a likely victim.

The other stared at him "I don't reckon human babies eat raw meat Ligur". He sounded unsure of himself. Human babies weren't his specialist subject.

"Have a look at 'im, see what his teeth are like. If they'm big an' pointy he'll be fine with some meat". Ligur advised looking warily at the basket.

The tall demon stopped jiggling the basket in surprise. "Open the basket you mean?" He asked hesitantly.

"Can't have a look without opening it can ya? Besides we can't feed 'im without gettin' 'im out anyways can we?" Said his companion reasonably.

"You mean..." Hastur's voice lowered to an ominous whisper "...touch 'im. Touch the master's son?" The basket continued wailing. "You do it" He attempted to hand the basket to Ligur.

"Oh no. I said I'd kill sommat, you gotta get 'im out". It was the other demon's turn to look panicky.

Hastur put the basket down. "Mebbe he'll stop on 'is own" he said hopefully as the noise got louder. Hicupping, gurgling sounds joined the screams.

"Oh alright" he gave up and reached down, carefully flicking open the flap on the basket. As soon as it was open he stepped back as if he expected it to explode.

The plaintive cries got louder, but nothing else happened. Hastur cautiously leaned over to look at the occupant. He was quiet for a long time.

"Well? Wass he look like?" The other demon asked curiously.

"Blue eyes" confirmed his companion. Feeling he needed to add more he continued "I was expectin' red or green or sommat". He continued to stare into the basket.

"What about hooves, or a tail? Has he got 'em?" Ligur was edging further away from the basket nervously.

"Can't see, he's wrapped in a blanket or something"

"Well 'ave a look. You gotta look properly". Ligur was several yards away by this point.

Hastur's hand was trembling as he reached into the basket and started unwrapping the child. "Nah, nuffin. Not even horns. Just looks like a normal baby" he confirmed.

The other demon rolled his eyes. "Teeth, what about the teeth?"

Hastur was aghast "I'd have to, y'know, touch 'im". He took a step back glancing at the other. Ligur was nodding and waving him towards the basket.

The tall demon steeled himself and knelt down. As he touched the child it stopped screaming, suddenly interested. His little lips were gently pulled open to reveal toothless gums.

The child grabbed the finger and determinedly started sucking it. Hastur screeched, but seemed unable to pull away. "Help me Ligur! He's gonna kill me! He's tryin' to eat me". He screwed his eyes shut waiting for the pain to start. The child continued sucking on the grimy finger.

After a few moments of not being eaten Hastur calmed down. He opened his eyes and peered into the basket. Large blue eyes stared directly into his black ones. The tiny pink fingers curled around his one finger as the child suckled.

"Awwww, look at 'im. I think he likes me". Indeed, it seemed the little Antichrist was now quite content, closing his eyes happily as he sucked on the demon's finger. Hastur flushed with pride and grinned.

The other demon came nearer, leaning over to see for himself. He felt something strange wash over him. "Awww, look at his little toes" he said reaching into the basket to touch them. His large hand dwarfed the miniature foot. "Isn't he cute?" Ligur said, talking more to himself than his companion.

The child stretched his little legs and spat out the finger. It yawned widely, blinked a couple of times then fell asleep. Hastur carefully shooed Ligur away and closed the basket. "Do you think he'll remember us?" He asked.

Ligur shrugged, carefully picking up the basket as Hastur lit up a dogend he'd found behind his ear. They passed it between them a couple of times, contemplating their brief encounter with the Antichrist.

In the distance they saw car headlights getting closer. "Here he come now, the flash bastard" announced Hastur.


End file.
